Anticipating Christmas

Although due dates are just tentative dates in which is nothing more than a guideline, I cannot help but be a little disappointed my little girl has not arrived. While sitting at home I was reluctant to travel to Cheyenne for a family BBQ because I really wanted this to be the day, needless to say it was not. I had a feeling all day, however that was probably fabricated by my selfish thoughts.

Today is the official due date and the whole night I slept uneasy as I awaited Carrie to wake me and say "Let's go." For the past few nights, sleep has been at a premium, as nerves and anticipation overwhelm me.

When I am away from Carrie I constantly check my phone, even more so than my normal "Crackberry" habits. I walk with my phone in hand and check it with each step it seems.

I knew a month ago, this would happen. I knew I tell myself every year as Christmas approaches to slow down and savor the time. Three days before Christmas I want time to come to a complete halt, I do everything to help enable that and all of the sudden I am back at work, looking back at the previous year.

I know when this baby finally does arrive, the time will fly. I think about life in general and see that happen. It seems like just yesterday I was hitting my dad in the knee with a batted baseball, running from my Nana, sneaking my mom's brownies with my friend Brian, posing on the front lawn with my brothers and sister, going over to my aunt's and uncle's houses to play and on and on.

I imagine the same applies for this kid, who is choosing to maintain the status quo and further prolong my anticipation. I guess I can't blame her.

Little Stressed/ Update

Two weeks out and my mind is running wild. I cannot help but feel overwhelmed, all the while trying to keep it together. Time has slowed a great deal, like a kid anticipating Christmas morning. I can't help but be extremely nervous for this new adventure in my life. Many times I end up speechless when thinking to myself on how life will be with this new addition.

I often venture to place myself in others shoes and see how they are doing and what they are doing with their new person. I wonder how they do it and then think back to my upbringing. I realize the means to which I had and realize there were times I wanted more. On the other hand I look back and realize I had way more than I ever needed. As a child I think we wall want more and not until we mature we realize, we would not have it any other way.

I had parents that were always there, together, no matter what. I had three brothers and a sister, although younger, always kept and keep me grounded and love me now matter what. I also had a great advantage of having an extended family close by. With 20 other family members close by, I can say they are some of my best friends and are not considered extended family but family. As we all grow and find our own niche, we all still remain close, we still get together every couple weekends and BBQ island stlye even in the winter. What's more is we have family on the other side of the country and even to them we remain close. Although our get-togethers may not be quite as frequent, we still remain tight knit.

Furthermore, Carrie and I have been blessed with great friends also. Anyone that knows me, know I am person of loyalty and would rather have few close and loyal friends than many friends.

Through these thoughts I breathe a little easier and worry less. That said, I will still worry and be anxious but I know this will wane as time proceeds. I know I am not the only one.

Update

We are about a week and half away from our due date, (Sept. 21) Carrie is now in her weekly appointments. The baby is beginning to drop slowly and Carrie is slightly dilated. In turn, that means things are on schedule and it now is a matter of days!!!

We Got a Kicker

I woke up last night because I heard Carrie chuckle a bit. I rolled over and asked her what was so funny, she replied with, "Our daughter is awake and kicking." That immediately made me excited to see or feel this child of mine playing around. I quickly placed my hand on Carrie belly and she moved my hand where I could feel it the best, however I got nothing. I left my hand there for a good ten minutes before finally falling asleep.

That said with every kick and movement Carrie tells me about I get more and more excited for the day that little kid is born!