A Different Outlook

I woke up this morning to the sound of my alarm, a gong like sound on my Blackberry. I rolled over dismissed the alarm and for a short time fell back asleep. I woke up, drank most of my water in my water bottle walked to the kitchen to fill it up again and gazed out the window. I looked around, the clouds were gray, the wind was strong, cars parked, people walking their dogs, and people going somewhere. I stood there with sleeping eyes, water bottle in my left hand and stared for several minutes. I trimmed my facial hair, showered, shaved, dressed, fixed my meals for the day, ate breakfast and walked out to my car. I place everything in my car including my laptop, lunch and workout clothes and looked around.

I took it all in. I think I had an epiphany. I saw my life in a different light. For the past 2 months I have made some changes in my life. I have lost nearly 38lbs and most notably 18lbs in the past 2 1/2 weeks. I am running, jogging, yeah the stuff where you move your feet at a fast pace for extended periods of distances and time. (I know its shocker haha)I lift weights and feel like I am a sophomore in college again when I was in incredible shape. I eat well majority of the time. I eat a lot, thanks in part to a good friend Andrew, who made me a diet I never thought I would follow.

I remember the day I found out Carrie and I became soon to be parents. I was sitting in the recliner, watching television. I was the at the heaviest weight I have ever been. Carrie came out of the bathroom and said I'm pregnant. I sat in silence as my excitement and nerves overwhelmed me to the extent in which words could not generate, sounds were nothing more than bleeps, and the expression on my face was frozen. I politely told Carrie to shut up numerous times, all the while she insisted she was truthful. I asked her to take another one or told her rather. She confirmed again and that's when it all happen.

As I sat there in disbelief, excitement, fear and excitement again. I then was struck by another feeling of sadness. I realized who I was. I realized that life had to change. I said to Carrie, "Dammit! Now I have to get my ass in shape, because I am not going to be a fat dad." Those were pretty close to my exact words I think. They still ring very true to this moment. I am going to make sure that I do everything my dad did and still does with me. I don't have to worry about calling my dad up and asking him if he wants to go play some tennis or something, because he is in great shape. I want to make sure when my kids are 26 or however old, they are able to call on me and I am able to go beat them in whatever they want to play. (Yes I said BEAT them, just cause they are younger doesn't mean I am going to let them win.)

All that said when I walked out to my car this morning all that rang through my body and mind again. I realized that life is good. Before, I kept waiting for fate to take over and in part I still think there is a plan but in the mean time I am gonna generate my own plan. I just think I need to take what is given to me and see what happens. I have a great wife, family, friends, job, roof over my head, car and so on. I appreciate these things and take a great deal of pride in what I have.

We are Underway

We had our second visit to the doctor yesterday and this one was short and F ing SWEET. This was the first time we got to hear the heartbeat of the our kid. Carrie is healthy and as far as we know our kid is healthy and growing just fine!

It took a day or so for the actual shock that there is a baby inside of my wife to set in. Now that it has I am stoked. I just can't believe it. The heartbeat was beating at an incredible rate of 150 beats per minute!

I am so grateful Carrie and our baby are doing well! Carrie has had little to no first trimester sickness which we are both thankful for. We have our first ultrasound in about 8 weeks so I am super excited and at that time we will be able to maybe see the sex.

I can't wait, what a great thing!