I have two goals, live
now and get better (be a better person).
Daily I work on these things and over the past 4-5 years I feel like I
am getting better and attaining my ongoing goals. As a parent of a 2 and 4 year old, I have
similar goals but these are more my "be a better dad" goals. My better dad goals are to cultivate a strong
relationship with my kids and make them feel loved. Those sound pretty simple, but I want those to go deeper so I have a developed a day to day guide. These are steps I have
taken to make and attain my better dad goals.
- Listen. We have all heard this before but really…. listen. I have no idea what my two year-old says half of the time but to them it is the most important thing in world. Bend over, get down on a knee, pick them up do whatever you have to do to be on their level and listen. Listen as if it is the last words that will come out of their mouth or as if it is the last sounds you will ever hear, I know that sounds a little morbid but this puts so much more meaning behind the word, LISTEN and you will not regret it.
- Talk with them. Ask them how they feel about this or that. Ask them what they want to do today or now or later. Almost every day we sit at our dinner table and we talk, no tv, no phones, just good old fashioned chit chat. When I get home from work, I ask them about their day and while at first I got the standard one word answers, my persistent barrage of questioning has led to elaborate details about their day. Now when I get home I do not even have to ask. For ten minutes, they both elaborate about their day.
- Use your manners. There are times when an emotion may get the best of me and certain words come flying out of mouth. Those are generally the times when my kids just happen to be around and they just happen to repeat after me. That led me to be more cognizant of my everyday reactions to the world, thus brings me back to my personal goal of live in the now.
- Read to them. Our routine is a book, sometimes five, but every night we read. I read in my most enthusiastic and colorful voices because I want them to thing reading is fun. These are moments I want to be ours, there are no distractions and no one else but our little family. For those 10-15 minutes, we get lost in another world. When we come back to reality, we talk about the story and say our good night.
- Tell them goodnight and I love you. No matter the day I had, no matter the negativity I encountered that day, that moment when I kiss my kids goodnight, is the moment I let all of the negativity go. There is nothing in the world at that single moment other than me and my child. It may be brief, nonetheless it is our moment. If by some chance I do not wake up in the morning, I will have loved so much that my heart will be full.
